"The youth of today are much more open to the idea of being part of a community and sharing. The hippie movement taught us that we can come together, we can love one another, we can be one."
- Carlos Santana
I took that photo about 2 miles from the Maroon Bells in Aspen. I was about 5 miles in to a half marathon with almost 1500’ of elevation gain. I was overwhelmed by the peace and beauty of the national park around me, and I took a fat rip from my vape pen. It was a high quality live resin cartridge and I was somewhere around 8500’ elevation. Happy as a clam. The puff of smoke from that rip formed a floating body of smoke that slowly drifted away into the prairie up to the mountains next to me. I took that picture. It was a moment of serenity, but also, I wasn’t wholly present.
It’s hard to explain, cannabis can do a lot of good but I find myself conflicted in my interpretation of our societal relationship with the plant. It makes sense to me that people are vocally on the book ends of argument – either staunchly anti-weed or alternately vehement advocates for legality. Although I think most of us are somewhere in the middle - akin to most things.
I do think weed should be legal, if alcohol is legal there is no reason cannabis shouldn’t be. I also think that making something “illegal” just heightens people’s desire to break the rules and experience it anyways.
Honestly I don’t think the government should have any say about how adults treat their own minds and bodies, but I also feel strongly that we are doing our youth a sincere disservice by glamorizing substances and the cultures surrounding them. We make inebriation cool and then “O-Face” when kids damage themselves in pursuit of that validation.
Your brain supposedly finishes forming around twenty-five years of age, but the mind is also elastic and constantly changes, so I’m confused by what is set versus what is setting as we become bona fide adults in this world. I’ve talked before about how I’m grateful I never dabbled in psychedelics until I was well into adulthood, but I began drinking and smoking at fifteen, and I’m confident that those choices affected the development of my brain and body for a decade. I first got sober at twenty-five, so the science says I formed my brain in a large way around substances, and then took them away entirely.
Maybe that’s why I’m a tad bit crazy.
But I’m also an inherently loving being, all I want is for the people around me to feel love and peace and happiness, and yeah, I want that for myself too, but the only times in my life I truly catch a glimpse of those emotions is when I feel like I’m facilitating that experience for others. I keep what I have by giving it away.
"The hippies wanted peace and love, they wanted to change the world for the better. Even though they may have been seen as rebellious, their intentions were rooted in creating a more compassionate and understanding society."
- Jerry Garcia
A good friend of mine loves to drink, and he can measurably partake in a way that I assuredly cannot. We were in Vegas together last summer, and he would imbibe late into the night, and still have the wherewithal to wake up with me at the crack of dawn and exercise. The only reason I was able to get up early and work out, seize my day, is because I did not partake.
Regardless of how turnt up he was four hours prior, we’d wake up at 6:30 and he’d be right alongside me on the treadmill. It made me realize that we all react to substances in our own way. I can’t do what he can do. But, I know I can take a blunt to the face and still function relatively, compared to him melting into whatever couch or chair he’d find himself on if he did the same. Our bodies are same-same, but different, is what I’m getting at.
And yeah, I could handle my weed, but to what extent? I can smoke, function, show up, show out. But all things in moderation for me – if I smoke too often, my thought spirals run deeper, my memory shallows, my cognitive functioning hits a limiter, my sense of self-discipline dulls. Weed is not a strengthening substance for me, it’s simply one that I can work with more effectively than others.
It can aid in my creativity, sure. It imbues equanimity to my demeanor, it softens my affect, but it sharpens nothing.
Cannabis can alter my perception, change how I look at things, relocate my point of view, and in doses can be beneficial. But as a regular habit, it really only limits my abilities.
"Marijuana has been a source of inspiration for artists, musicians, and thinkers for centuries. Its influence on culture is undeniable, from music to literature to art. It has the power to open minds and expand consciousness."
- Willie Nelson
Maybe I just used it enough – my mind is as open as they come, cannabis settled a foundation in my framework of thinking that very well may be here to stay. I haven’t smoked in about a year and I’m recognizing that I haven’t gone a full 365 days without weed since I first started at the age of fifteen. That’s crazy.
Even in sobriety, I would smoke here and there, then there and there, then everywhere, thinking I was all good because I wasn’t drinking alcohol. But cannabis restricted me in different ways, and I learned that – for me – it is habit forming, it is restricting, it is detrimental.
You say that in the wrong room and you’ll have some insecure people very argumentative with you, preaching that “weed is not harmful,” “weed works for a lot of people and is a safe alternative to other substances,” and so-on and so-forth.
I’m not arguing that. I’m saying that when someone makes a generalization, they are typically missing something. Maybe I’m just an outlier. Don’t get me wrong, I love weed, weed is tight. I wish I could regulate more effectively and feel more benefits than detriments. Maybe I used to. But ultimately, it doesn’t work for me anymore. I think it works for some people. I think everyone has a thumbprint of how the spectrum of mind-altering substances can work or hurt them, and I think everyone is responsible for being honest with themselves and finding their own healthy balance.
I strongly believe that people under the age of 25 should not be encouraged to alter their minds yet. I wish I had waited. But I also believe that everyone has the freedom to make their own decisions, that just adds responsibility on community, on culture, to encourage individuals to make decisions that are healthy for their body, mind, and spirit, first.
I think a lot of cannabis use is rooted in a need for validation, for belonging, for external noise. I think some people unlock something in themselves that helps. I think some people unlock something in themselves that hurts. I think most people fall somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, and must maintain a balance.
But there I am making generalizations. The Four-Twenty holiday is about the freedom to smoke weed. I think the focus should be on the freedom to do as you please. You don’t have to if it’s not for you. If it is don’t shame those for whom it isn’t. If it isn’t, celebrate the freedom to choose for those who it is.
Weed is tight. Let’s just accept that everyone is tight and everyone is their own person and everyone should find what works for them, and feel comfortable knowing that what works for them is no indication of their worth, and their sense of validation should come internally from their comfort with that, not from how other people may or may not approve of that. I dunno, I’m rambling.
That’s all for today. Happy 4:20.
Love