"In the depths of temerity lies the brilliance of human potential."
- Albert Einstein
Fear is such a vague concept and encapsulates so many different emotions and patterns and experiences. It is incredibly powerful and can stand in your way or propel you from behind, if only you learn how to wrestle with it.
Nervousness, excitement, anticipation, the pre-game jitters, are also fear manifested, no? Are they not in the same vein of the somatic experience?
My favorite chair lift in the world is Deep Temerity on Aspen Highlands, followed closely by Sheer Bliss on Aspen Snowmass. Deep Temerity is a two person old-school lift that has a steep incline and is nestled at the base of the back bowl at Highlands. In-bounds back country, glades and cliffs. It’s a dreamland, and on Sundays they have free pancakes or hot dogs depending on who’s working.
It was never a courageous step for me to venture down the backside of Highlands, in fact there was only excitement, enthusiasm, anticipation – but if you think about it, I feel like our nerves flare very similarly in those moments as they do in moments of fear or intimidation – it’s our perception of the stimulation that dictates our response. Does it hinder you, or propel you?
Thus denoting once again, the sheer power of the brain – our perception breeds our reality, and our perception is simply our chosen interpretation of the stimulation received.
"Angst macht den Wolf größer als er ist."
“Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.”
- German Proverb
The wolf is as big as you perceive it to be, I guess, to an extent. You dictate the size of the wolf. You can’t find yourself in the wilderness face to face with a wolf and expect the be able to shrink it with your brain, but the metaphorical wolves of life, you definitely can affect their impact on your day-to-day wellbeing simply by asserting perspective, wouldn’t you say?
As I said, the back bowls of Highlands never really scared me, so much as they energized me, but that experience varied from person to person depending on their fluency, confidence, and relative experience on the mountain. Now, I am known for taking friends that are of average skiing or snowboarding ability, head-first into the trenches. By that I mean, if you’re able to ride, and you want to get better, I’m going to take you somewhere where you will have to get better.
Some might call that irresponsible, some might call it being a bad friend, but I’ll attest that I’ve never had a friend that wanted to improve that a) didn’t get better after riding with me, and b) didn’t have a great time doing it. I also have no injuries or emergencies under my watch, so I’ll stick with my approach for now.
It's the equivalent of being thrown into the deep end when learning to swim – you might get scared, but more than likely, you’ll learn to float.
It makes me think about confidence and how it relates to fear. What is confidence to fear? Is it simply your chosen perception of nerves flared as enthusiasm over timorousness? Is it fear wrested into propulsion rather than succumbed to as an impedance?
"Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong."
- Peter T. McIntyre
Similarly, I was always told that confidence isn’t from knowing that girl will say yes when you ask her out, it’s not caring whether she says yes or not, and asking anyways.
Confidence is not walking into a room thinking you're better than everyone, it's walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone at all, because the external idea of “better” in itself is a constructed mode of perception, when the only comparison need made is inward, towards yourself the moment prior, earlier, yesterday.
I think about my confidence relative to my relationship with the game of basketball. First, as a player; my experiences in peak confidence were directly correlated to my experiences with peak discipline and effort expended. The harder I worked on the back end, behind the curtain, the more that preparation translated into a steady and wholehearted belief of self on the front end, or on stage.
Secondly, as a coach, my confidence in knowing that I had a sound approach and direction, followed my consistent courage to trust my gut, to keep things simple, and to invest in the personnel. I built trust in myself by sticking to my guns and following up on promises I made to myself, and the results followed.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the deep temerity to continue despite it."
- John F. Kennedy
The deep temerity.
Deep temerity is the courage to confront the unknown depths of one’s fears and uncertainties with unwavering resolve. The audacity to challenge the status quo, to leap into the abyss of uncertainty with a steadfast heart, and to embrace the journey of self-discovery with open arms. It’s the boldness to pursue one’s dreams despite the daunting obstacles that lay ahead, knowing that true growth and fulfillment often reside on the other side of discomfort. In the face of adversity, a spirit of deep temerity serves as a beacon of resilience, guiding individuals towards the realization of their fullest potential.
It's about time I quote Jack Canfield, the co-author of the inspiration of this project, Chicken Soup for the Soul.
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
- Jack Canfield
Let your spirit act as your beacon, and on the journey up, fear should serve as your true North. It’s not simply a choice. You can’t just decide one day to allow fear to fuel you, it’s a series of decisions made steadily over an extended period of time. And slowly, but surely, your mind will recognize fear as a beckoning instead of as a deterrent. But it takes time, focus, effort, and trust. And, honestly, teaching yourself simply how not to give so much of a fuck. Convincing yourself with repetitive courage that fear is excitement and excitement is a beacon for wholeheartedness. Wholeheartedness is an symptom of living with purpose and purpose is the reason for living.
So then, how do you convince yourself? How do you build that trust in yourself, that trust which fortifies your confidence which hones in this power of self-control?
“Your confidence is measured by the amount of promises you keep to yourself.”
- Robert T. Kiyosaki
You keep your word to yourself. You tell yourself you’ll do something, you do it. Start small, just don’t miss any promises. Once you’ve built up some of that trust, scale up.
I’m going to make my bed every fucking morning.
I’m going to brush my teeth twice a fucking day.
I’m going to workout three fucking times a week.
Start small. Gain momentum. Scale up.
I’m going to exercise six fucking times a week.
I’m going to meditate every fucking morning.
I’m only going to eat healthy fucking food.
I’m going to drink a liter of water every fucking day.
I’m going to stop drinking fucking soda.
I’m going to stop fucking smoking.
I’m going to start writing that book. Painting those paintings. Singing those songs.
I’m going to start speaking my fucking mind.
I’m going to stop fucking apologizing for everything.
I’m going to wake up fucking early.
I’m going to give myself a fucking shot.
Start small, build trust, scale up.
I don’t have many answers. I don’t know shit. And don’t think I’m sitting here as if I have this figured out. I have not been perfect in this regard of building confidence, self-trust, I’ve failed often and haven’t been especially great about it in recent weeks. I’m working on course correcting and starting small again. But it’s fucking working and I can authentically say I know that. So, if you’re in a rut, dig down within yourself and tap into your own brilliance with the deep temerity of your spirit, and give yourself a fucking shot. You are absolutely capable, you can without a doubt get better, but nobody can do this for you but yourself.
It feels scary, you don’t want to fail, you worry you might not be able.
It is, you might, you are.
You are your might, it is internal and eternal and it’s on you to buy in.
Keep going, I’m right here with you baby.
I fucking love you.