Apprehension

(Short Poem, September 2024)

I'll reiterate, respectfully,
the mental health jeopardy
you'll find yourself playing
in light of accepting me.

Despite the anxiety
(a hapless self-piety),
I owe more directly, an
explanation of me.

It's not trust that I lack;
I admire your steadiness,
but it manifests as un-readiness
on my end alone.

In the spirit of you,
my mind runs amuck,
and in your mirrored truth,
fears that I'll self-destruct.

I pray, I surmise, 
- days I feel we're concurrent -
bluer hues than your eyes... 
do I have the endurance?

I crave reassurance.
I'm scared of the distance.
The time zones alone,
are enough a resistance.

I don't want to wait
very much at all longer,
but I'm worried of forcing
my bullshit upon ya.

If I'm what you want,
If I still stand alone,
remind me your thoughts,
I just need to know.